I wish I was a bit taller, I wish I was a bit stronger…


Remember that track by Skee Lo? If not, listen here: I wish – Skee Lo

On my way into work, I was stuck in rush hour traffic. Normally I don’t really care as I listen to my sports news on my way into work. It passes the time very nicely. I am not one to get upset being in rush hour traffic. My blood pressure is normal and I intend to keep it that way.

This morning was a bit different. The traffic was backed up a bit more than usual causing me to have a sudden panic attack. I wanted out of the traffic right away. My wife was soundly asleep in the passenger seat. During my daily excursions to into this metal chaos, I’ll steal a few seconds to look at her and smile. She is a few months pregnant and that always makes me smile. I quickly remind myself that I am lucky that I can drive her to work so that she doesn’t have to deal with feeling crappy while in transit.

This morning however, something was bugging me. I have a baby on the way in December and I am starting to feel the aggravation of being a parent. Am I a good person? Will I be a good Dad? I know the answer is yes to both questions and many others that pop into my head.

A few days back, I saw an article in the news about how Paulina was at some party, hanging with the boys and hoisting the cup. I won’t pretend I have the first clue about what she does on a daily basis, nor do I really care that much. However the thoughts of supporting my kid, came full force during my drive this morning. I wish I could be richer, I wish I was healthier, was the mantra-song in my head. I suppose these are normal thoughts, at least I think they are normal thoughts. I have no experience from which to draw this conclusion. We are having our first child

Paulina Gretzky along with my other kids of rich parents are very lucky in my eyes. They are afforded the spoils of life that most of society can only dream of. I am looking at this from a 10,000 foot view of course. I am not saying that she shouldn’t enjoy life. She deserves it. Her blood line has worked for it, they must reap what was sowed.
All I am thinking is that I wish I could do that for my future kid. I want to be Wayne Gretzky.

There are equally successful people who have come from nothing to be something. I just want to to make sure my kid doesn’t have to endure any hardships they don’t need to face. I suppose all parents wish this. I have to remember that Walter Gretzky wasn’t born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

The dude upstairs has a plan, I am sure we will do what we must and face our destiny. (Woah, Vader’s voice just popped into my head as I wrote that!)

I look at Wayne and his success and I attribute that success based on the work that his Dad and Mom did when he was younger. Wayne would be a shadow of himself if his parents didn’t have the work ethic and most importantly, parenting ethic to allow Wayne to be what he is today. I am almost positive they did the same thing with the rest of Wayne’s siblings. Wayne reaped the fame & financial rewards while the others have reaped the rewards of being raised in a good home.  I am making all these judgement calls based on zero knowledge of how the Gretzky’s were raised. From an outside perspective, they look like they have done alright. I felt good to know that I am ready and prepared to do what I need to do for my child. Right now I want to be Walter Gretzky.

I turned the corner off Lakeshore onto Yonge street. I had forgotten for a few minutes where I was. The aura Walter Gretzky’s family life relaxed me, I fell into my normal driving meditation state. I stole another look at wife. She is rubbing her belly and and slowly awakening from her nap. I smiled again, the worries of the world are lost.  In my head, I say a little prayer and say good morning to my kid. I know he/she can’t “hear” me, but I am sure he/she is listening. This child chose us as his/her vehicle to enter the world. That alone is rich enough. At this moment, I am Walter Gretzky.

I changed the lyrics of the song again, this time “I wish this drive were longer, I wish I could be in this moment forever..”

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